Thankfully I survived and it was decided I was not faking my fuzzy vision. In fact, my eyes have gotten a good deal worse in the last 5 years. Color me surprised (that was sarcasm, by the way). When all was said and done, I sat patiently in my chair with my carefully chosen Vogue frames and waited for the verdict... what is my new prescription?
And in the following 35 seconds I aged about 15 years. The doctor uttered 4 devastating words:
"It's time for bifocals."
After a bit of choking on air and my own saliva I managed to compose myself enough to respond, "What do you mean I need bifocals? My grandma has bifocals. Do you know how old I am?"
He just smiled indulgently while opening up my chart, "Why yes, I do know how old you are. You're 38. That's almost 40. Bifocals seem appropriate for your vision correction needs and your age."
I realize 38 is close to 40, thank you very much! But bifocals? Really? Yes, really.
So after a lengthy and informative discussion about the advances in eye wear and the use of words like "transitional" and "depth perception" my hipster Vogue frames were sent away to be filled with new lenses- bifocals, to be specific.
What's next? Going to the bead store to buy a fashionable necklace/glasses chain?
OK, so that's kind of cute, but I don't want to wear my glasses as jewelry?!
Will I be walking around tilting my head up and down like a bobble head trying to find the right angle to read what's in front of me while also looking at what's off in the distance?
If I have to look like a Bobble Head, I want to be this one, FYI.
Looking like this lady?
On the bright side, the tiara is kinda cute, no?
Who doesn't love a tiara?
Like many other side effects of the aging process, I have decided to embrace it. What choice do I have? I'm getting older. My children would say I'm getting old. It is what it is. So I will wear my trusty bifocals with pride and as a symbol of the maturity and wisdom I have acquired during my years on this planet. And if I'm lucky, I'll get a matching tiara.
And I have to admit, although getting used to bobble heading is a bit of a pain, the computer screen hasn't looked this clear in a really really long time.
That's just my normal.