Friday, January 3, 2014

7 Signs You Are At The End of Christmas Break

I'm glad to know so many of you identified with my previous post.  I've said it before and I'll say it again... Riding the Crazy Train is a lot less scary when you've got company.  Many of us have exchanged texts and Facebook posts to count the hours, minutes, seconds until school resumes and that has given us a sense of camaraderie in our insanity.  However, I'll admit I have a moment of panic right before I hit the "publish" button on that my last blog post.  There's a raw vulnerability that comes with discussing how hard motherhood can be.  Oh, and admitting to standing on the beach crying into my iPhone is pretty nerve wracking as well. 

But yet again, my faithful readers came through for me.  You didn't judge or criticize. You didn't call me ungrateful and, thankfully, you didn't show up on my doorstep with the authorities.  In fact, you did just as I had hoped- You understood and you laughed. 

We all agree there is a sense of freedom that comes from the suspension of carpools, packing lunches and homework. However, the complete lack of a schedule can also be quite jarring.  Research shows that kids thrive with structure.  I'm willing to bet that if the research was expanded to include mothers it would yield the following results:

"10 out of 10 doctors agree that moms with structure and children in school full time
spontaneously produce joyful expressions and bust out a "thumbs up."

"10 out of 10 doctors agree that moms without structure, having endless hours to fill for weeks at a time spontaneously burst into tears- sometimes even on the beach."
*Prison jumpsuit and law enforcement optional

See? Even The Experts agree with me.  And you all know you can't argue with The Experts.

Today, however, I have even more good news.  Not only are you not alone in your insanity but you, my friends, have made it! Today is Friday- the last official day of Christmas Break.  Personally, I don't need a calendar to tell me I've made it because I have...

7 Signs That I Have Made it to the End of Christmas Break
1. The kitchen cabinets are complete devoid of every cup, bowl, plate, fork and spoon because my children can not use anything twice and if I have to wash one more item I'm going to scream.
2. You have no memory of your living room flooring because you haven't seen it in weeks due to the thick layer of Legos, Rainbow Loom rubber bands, pillows and blankets.
3. Your body resembles that of a woolly mammoth because the idea of going to a waxing appointment with your children in tow brings to mind hours and hours of future therapy appointments and answering questions about items like this...
I did not find this picture on Google.
They actually sell this item at the waxing place. 
Try explaining THESE to your young boys.

4.  You've grown so tired of making meals and snacks that you say yes to chips at 10 a.m., consider apple flavored lollipops a fruit and organize your daily errands around mealtimes so you just "accidentally" find yourself near a restaurant or the snack bar in Target.

5.  You realize you actually miss doing the laundry because your children have spent 90% of their Christmas Break in their underwear.

6. Quiet days with the dog and the Roomba sound like a dream come true.

Of course my Roomba knows how to have a good time, so who could blame me?
Have your appliances made it to 2nd base?

7.  When sitting at your computer "working" you are actually researching Summer Camps. 
*Do you think a 6 week sleep away camp is too much? Me neither.*

I wish I could say I was one of those "fun, fly by the seat of her pants" kind of moms.  I think I'd be more accurately labeled "Fun With a Plan Mom." My kids are certainly no worse for the wear- I think. And they've had a great Christmas Break- I hope.  And I'm pretty sure my tentative grip on sanity will return by noon on Monday- I pray. 

We've done lots of great things over vacation- trips to the beach, indoor Go Kart racing, crafts, movies, hiking, etc. But these 384 hours have not been all gingerbread houses and pillow forts.  I think most of you can relate. 

I'm pretty sure I'll be complaining about making lunches and practicing math facts in a matter of days but I can guarantee that the moment I start longing for Easter Break, someone will give me a well-placed smack in the back of the head.

I can see the light at the end of the long, dark Christmas Break tunnel!
That's just my normal.


Carrie's Just Mildly Medicated said...

I cannot wait for a manic Monday!
Love ya!

Jules said...

Love it! But, sadly, I am not sharing your euphoria boys don't go back to school until January 14!!

Tracy Georges said...

Is it okay if your roomba goes out with us if I ever make it to the west coast?

Jennifer said...

I want them all to go back, including my husband to work. Enough already. :)

in pursuit said...

Carrie I hear ya!! I can't wait for Monday!!

in pursuit said...

The 14th, Jules???? Oh no!! I'll pray for you;)

in pursuit said...

Tracy my Roomba always gets me free drinks. She's quite the flirt. Maybe I should try dragging my underwear around too?

in pursuit said...

Hysterical, Jennifer!! Having that "extra kid" adds a whole 'nother layer, doesn't it?

Tarana Khan said...

Haha, this is so well described...I especially liked the pictures!

Lisa Witherspoon said...

Ha! Agreed! We have done a lot of fun things, too, but we have also done a whole lot of nothing! Plus, my hubby travels for work, so I am used t him being gone a lot. Not only have my kids been home for two weeks, he's been home for three as well. I am in serious need of some ALONE time! :-)

Mom Rants and Comfy Pants said...

Oh, how I feel ya sister! The first part of Christmas break was spent complaining because I had the flu and couldn't take him anywhere. The second part of Christmas break was spent with HIM complaining that I "gave him" the flu and he wasn't well enough to go anywhere. Meh! Glad he's back at school. BTW, that selfie made you look like you were nekkid! Did you rip the bra off and throw it to the Roomba?? I see how you roll when the kids are in school!!

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